Finances Are Destroying My Relationship
Problems in relationships related to finances:
No relationship can run smoothly and feel great all the time. Problems occur and couples fight. However, the problems in relationships related to finances are crucial. This is because financial arguments often have an adverse effect on the relationship.
As a mental health therapist, I have seen many couples who have similar questions “Why am I not happy in my relationship” or “should I get a divorce?” They are in desperate need for couples therapy and most of their problems are related to finances.
These are the most common problems that couples face in relationships that are related to finances:
1. Damaging your partner’s savings:
This is the first problem related to finance that can destroy your relationship. If you spend money from your partner’s savings account without asking him or her even once, it will surely make your relationship bitter. Your partner would often be open to lending money to you, if you are in trouble. But if you make that a habit of spending your partner’s money, then it can slowly kill your relationship. When both members of a couple make similar money and one person is always paying for something, this can also start to tear down a relationship. The person who pays often secretly thinks “why do they get to spend their money on them and I have to spend my money on us”. Again, TALK about who pays for what so you both think it is a fair situation.
2. Hiding debt:
The second problem related to finances that can harm your relationship is hiding a debt from your partner. In a relationship, you cannot keep things hidden from each other. When you step into a lifetime commitment like marriage, you should be open about your financial condition. If later, your partner gets to know about your debt, he or she can feel betrayed.
3. Not discussing before buying something:
When you are a married couple, you need to discuss with your partner before buying something really expensive. Things like this often result in fights between couples. When you and your partner start sharing money, discussions are mandatory before a purchase. Otherwise, things can get really bitter and you would find yourself asking “Should I get a divorce?”
4. Being a control freak:
You should definitely discuss things with your partner, but that doesn’t mean that you should start controlling the financial decisions of your partner. Decisions made together are very healthy, but criticizing your partner’s financial behavior can be very hurting for your partner.
5. Not making financial decisions together:
After you get married, you should discuss with your partner about who will pay for what. Having a plan for where you put your money can save a lot of disagreements and conflicts. You will find yourself saying “I am not happy in my relationship.”
These are the 5 most frequent problems in relationships related to finances. Couples often get fed up with these problems and opt for a couples therapy session. Although a therapist can’t help you with accounting, they CAN help you with communication skills so that you both feel good about your financial situation.
If you are looking for individual therapy or couples therapy in Long Beach, please give me a call to ask me a question or to set up an appointment.