Can My Relationship Survive Infidelity?

When you marry, you enter into a contract that comes with a strict set of rules. There are a few that will be broken without much damage to your union, but for most couples, infidelity is the breach of contract that simply cannot be overcome. The reason for this is because infidelity tends to destroy trust, which is the life blood of most relationships. It is possible for the relationship to survive in these cases, but it usually involves couples therapy and a high level of forgiveness. It may also depend on the sort of infidelity that was engaged in, as it is not just the physical aspect we are talking about here, it could also be the emotional connection your partner had with another person.
When you hear the “I” word mentioned, you generally get the image of one member of a couple having a physical relationship outside of the marriage. While this is indeed the most common form, there are other types of infidelity that can be equally as damaging. An emotional affair does not involve any sort of physical contact, but it is no less damaging. When one person confides all of their hopes and fear to someone other than their partner, it sends a message that they no longer see their partner as the most important person in their life. The rise in internet usage and mobile technology has made this type of infidelity increasingly more common. Regardless of type, it is important to get to the root cause of the betrayal of trust before it can be repaired.
Infidelity usually occurs when one person in the relationship feels that they are not getting their needs met by the other. You may have a situation where the love has gone out of the relationship for one person, yet they choose to stay out of a sense of comfort or responsibility, but also seek out romantic moments outside the marriage. There are some who still feel love for their spouse, but who find themselves conflicted by love, or lust, for another. Oftentimes, people will stray when they feel as though their sexual or emotional needs are not being met by their partner. These issues are just scratching the surface of what may be the root cause of infidelity, and it is only through open and honest communication that the healing can begin.
When one person in the relationship feels that the love has gone, the job of a couple’s therapist becomes that much harder. The fact that therapy has been sought out, though, suggests that the person in question may be conflicted about their feelings. A good therapist will be able to dig below the surface problems to get at the heart of the issue, but it is still up to the couple to also play their part.

 

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