Many people come into therapy because they cannot communicate with their partner. The first step to “getting through” to them is to listen and close your mouth. Yes, you read correctly. How inviting would it be to your partner if you just listened to them without rolling your eyes, turning them off, turning your back, or offering a rebuttal? Many couples come to therapy because they don’t feel heard. How do two people not feel heard? It is because instead of listening, they are thinking of how they will dispute the information their partner just gave. Because both people talk without listening, neither person feels that they are heard. That is the best way to ruin intimacy and communication within your relationship. Try listening. At first your partner may be suspicious because you have changed the pattern within your relationship. When done properly, many times the dynamic within the relationship changes and communication, intimacy and the overall connection within your relationship can be healed. If not, it may be time to seek help in using these skills. Don’t wait for your partner to be ready for couple’s therapy; you can take the first step by going to learn skills to improve your relationship until your partner is ready to join you in the process of healing and regaining a connection.
If you are looking for an individual therapist or couples therapist in Long Beach, please give me a call to ask me a question or to set up an appointment.