How Therapy Is Different Than Talking to a Friend? Answered By a Therapist in Long Beach.
Almost all of us have someone that we trust implicitly, and who we will routinely reach out to in a time of need. While it is certainly great to have a friend who is always there for you, it’s important to understand that they cannot deliver all the things that a professional therapist can. In fact, a good friend may be quite likely to suggest that you talk to a therapist if said friend feels that they are not adequately equipped to help you with your current issues. What follows are a few reasons that will show you why taking that advice might be a good idea.
In order to get to the heart of the problem, you may have to have more than one conversation about it. It’s simply not possible to set up a regular time and place with a friend, as they have their own schedule to attend to. Even if they were able to set aside that amount of time for you, even the most patient of friends may soon quickly become annoyed by hearing your problems over and over again. This is never an issue for a therapist, as they are trained to listen and help you find solutions. A therapist will also understand the importance of going over a topic multiple times. I often tell clients that it is like if you drop something in a grassy field. You may have to go back and forth many times before you come to an angle that you see the object. You might wonder how you didn’t see it even after you passed it 100 times before, but the angle from which you saw it from might be slightly different than the other 100 times.
The listening that a therapist is trained to do is very important to your wellbeing, and that is not something that you really get from a friend. They often tend to look at the this as more of a discussion, which means that they may feel the need to inject their opinion with every statement that you make. Breaking the flow of you telling your story can be frustrating, and that is not something that a therapist will ever do. It is your job to talk, and the therapists job to pose questions at the right time, all in hopes of getting to the root of your problem.
When a therapist poses those questions, they do so objectively. For example, if you are having problems with your spouse, the therapist will not take a side or try to straddle the line because they also have a relationship with your partner. Friends are often put in an uncomfortable situation, as they don’t want to risk either of those relationships. If they tell you how awful your spouse is and how you should leave, and then you end up reconciling, things can become a little awkward.
Even with a trusted friend or family member, it can be difficult to open up completely and tell them everything that you need to. You cannot get the help you need if you hold things back, and there is never any need to do that with a therapist. You can be sure that they will listen to all you have to say without passing any kind of judgement, and you can also be sure that what you say will never leave the walls of the therapist’s office. It’s nice to have friends who can offer moral support, but for a deeper level of healing, you may need to talk to a professional therapist.
The last thing to consider is that a therapist is ultimately disposable. When you are done with the topic you can stop therapy and never be reminded by the therapist about the issue because you aren’t in therapy. When you go that deep into a conversation with a friend, they could formulate opinions about you that last much longer.
If you are looking for an individual therapist or couple’s therapist in Long Beach, Lakewood or the surrounding areas, please give me a call to ask me a question or to set up an appointment.