You always hear people talk about how marriage is hard work, yet every now and again you seem to run a cross a couple who seem to have it all figured out. They don’t just have a good marriage; it can be argued that they have a great one. The simple fact of the matter is that when it comes to relationships, the majority of people are simply satisfied with good. It is assumed that a few small arguments a year means that the relationship is strong, but a lack of fighting may simply mean that the couple has nothing meaningful to talk about.
If you are in a good marriage or relationship, but you want to take it to the next level, there are some things that you can do. Talking to a couple’s therapist is a good place to start. It should be clear that therapy is not just for couples who feel that their relationship is in trouble. A good therapist can come up with ideas and suggestions that will help turn a good marriage into a great one. They often do this by listening to what people say, and then helping them figure out why they have not made that leap in their relationship just yet.
One common thing that therapists see in a good relationship are a pair of people who believe that being in the same room for an extended period of time without getting on each other’s nerves is the sign of a healthy relationship. This is not necessarily the case, especially if they are not making proper use of that time together. Rather than just watching TV together or spending time on updating your social network status, you should be asking your partner about their day, and showing that you care. When a person feels as though they are being loved and nurtured, they want to return the favor.
If you both have busy work schedules that limit the amount of time that you spend together, carve out a ritual that brings you together when your free time overlaps. For example, if you are both off on the same day during the week, perhaps plan on having a date night. That could be something as simple as going out for a bite to eat, catching a movie, or spending a little bit of together time in the bedroom. Having a set time but doing something a little different each week helps bring you together and keep things exciting. You can also check out my 30 day relationship challenge to get ideas on how to make your good relationship great.
To suggest that you are never going to argue is ridiculous, but when that time comes, try to argue with respect for your partner. That means really listening to what they have to say, and apologizing if you know you were in the wrong. Disagreements are going to happen, but it’s how you handle them as a couple that can help take your marriage from good to great. For communication tips, check out my blog post called “How Can I Communicate with My Partner Better” and other blog posts in the “relationship issues” category of my blog posts. Of course, if you are looking for a couples counselor in Long Beach, please call me or email me.