Does Going To Therapy Mean I Have To Talk About My Mother and My Childhood?
Not usually. People often get the wrong idea of what therapy is. If you come in for a relationship issue or problem at work, I do not automatically jump into your childhood unless you tell me that your childhood is probably the root of your problems. As we delve into therapy and find out it is necessary to talk about your childhood issues, we certainly can do that, but it is not my first “go to” approach. If you are having problems at work, it can certainly be because your boss or coworker reminds you of your mother or father. Usually this is not the case. Sometimes your boss may just be a jerk, or putting you in a difficult situation and you simply need help navigating the situation so that you can thrive at work. I will help you figure out strategies to communicate with your boss and/or coworkers as well as figure out different ways of thinking about the situations so that it bothers you less.
Throughout this website, I give examples of new styles of thinking and different ways of handling situations so that you can be happier and less effected by other people’s behaviors. This strategy works for about 90% of my clients who come in for this type of issue. The other 10% of people we discover there is an issue from childhood or another deep rooted issue that needs to be addressed to move forward. In these cases, I will talk to my client about what I think and if they are wanting/willing to talk about childhood issue. This is not to say that I NEVER ask about parents, home life or childhood, it just means that this is not the focus of therapy or tends to be a small aspect of therapy.
If you are looking to delve into your childhood, let me know at your first session and that can be the direction we go. If you don’t tell me, this is not usually the direction I take with clients.
Disclaimer: This is my strategy in terms of how I find it most effective to work with clients. Other therapists have different beliefs, strategies and theories that they work with and they may take you through with a different approach. I can only speak to the therapy techniques that I use with my clients.