Is My Relationship Abusive?

If you are asking yourself if your relationship is abusive, it may be time to get professional help. Often by the time someone recognizes that the relationship is abusive, it has already gotten pretty bad. Name calling, belittling, threatening, being hit, slapped, punched, or kicked is not okay, especially not by someone who is supposed to love you. Many people get into the situation where they have become isolated from friends and family so that their partner is the only one left to talk to. In this situation, it is important to make an appointment with a therapist or call a hotline to get support. To get support in your area, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224. They can simply talk to you for support or ideas, they can help you make a safety plan so you can stay (if you are not ready to leave), make an exit plan with you, or simply listen.

Often people don’t get support because of financial restraints. Many therapists know of funding sources so that you (and your children) can receive therapy (from the therapist of your choice) for free.

Often people don’t leave because they have nowhere to go: There are homes for abuse victims that are HOMES. People imagine 100 cots set up in a big auditorium or something. I worked in a shelter for 10 years, and my experience was a good one. The shelter is a home, like any other on the block. Neighbors usually don’t even realize it is a shelter. It is a safe place to be until you can find the financial security on your own, away from the abuse.

Often people don’t leave because they don’t want their child to be parent-less: Leaving a situation doesn’t necessarily mean that your child will not see the other parent again. It is important to make a safety plan to leave so that the parent your child loses is not you.

Often time people don’t leave because they don’t want to be a failure: Leaving a relationship because the person is emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive is not “being a failure”. It takes a lot of strength to recognize when enough is enough.

If you would like to learn more about domestic violence and how to be safe, contact a therapist or a hotline in your area. To find a therapist in your area, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224. If you are looking for a therapist in Long Beach for abuse issues, please give me a call to ask me a question or to set up an appointment.