3 Ways To Help You Deal With Your Relationship Breakup. Tips From A Couples Therapist In Long Beach
When a relationship ends, whether you’re the one ending it or not, often, the hardest thing to do is get up and continue going on with life. After all, one day you’re a couple with dreams of what next month, next year, and the next 30 years would bring, and the next day you’re not. You shared so much together but now you are alone. How do you get past a breakup – even if it’s one that was necessary?
3 Important Ways Effectively Deal With A Breakup:
1 – Break All Contact Completely
The best thing you can do for yourself after a breakup is to completely cut off communication, at least for a while. Do not talk to or see them for at least 30 days (up to 90 days, if it’s really bad). According to various researches, talking to or seeing someone you love makes the body desire them again. Therefore, the only true way to deal with a breakup is to eliminate all contact. This means getting rid of their name on your phone, social media account, etc. If you hope to stay friends, you can tell them you need time to adjust and heal and that in a month or so you would like to reconnect.
2 – Get Off Social Media, Turn Off Netflix, and Go Hang Out With Your Friends
Facebook and other social media websites are not going to help you get past the pain. After all, any shared friends you have will be stark reminders of the relationship you are no longer in.
At this time, you need to surround yourself with friends – with people who love you and support you. Go out, even when you don’t feel up to it, and hang with them. If they want go to the movies, suck it up and go. You may not feel like you’re going to have fun but pretend you are. In due time, you’ll find you’re having fun without even pretending.
3 – Vent, Yell… Get It Out Of Your System (But Do It Wisely)
When you’re with a confidant (someone you feel you can tell anything to), vent to them about what happened in the relationship. By talking about the things that happened in the relationship, you can be sure you’re not doomed to repeat the same mistakes. Also, when you are at a point you can hear it, friends can also provide insight into what you may have done wrong, allowing you to learn things about yourself. Talking certainly allows you to process it all and enable you to move on in life.
Word of Caution: Don’t always talk about the relationship every time you talk to your friends because people will get tired of it eventually, causing them to avoid you altogether.
It’s not going to happen overnight; but, in time, you will start to feel better about the relationship and its demise. And, that’s the key thing to remember: patience and time. You may still love your ex and you may still think of them often; but time does heal all wounds.
If you aren’t getting out of bed after the break up, your work performance is declining, you are crying without the ability to stop, it may be a good idea to seek out therapy. Often a therapist can help you process your feelings about the breakup, learn ways to adjust to society as a single person, and find positive coping skills to take care of yourself.
If you are looking for an individual therapist or couples therapist in Long Beach, Lakewood or the surrounding areas, please give me a call to ask me a question or to set up an appointment.