Should I Get A Divorce? Find a Therapist In Long Beach To Figure It Out.

Should I get a divorce?
This is a common question of all of those people who enter in a relationship, get married and then think “am I with ‘the one’”? Many of these people who ask themselves if they should get a divorce can no longer handle the communication problems and the arguing with their partner. Communication problems are often the main cause of ruined dreams, broken hearts and failed marriages. Before getting a divorce, you need to ask yourself “Have I tried everything?” The chance of feeling regret about a divorce rises when you make the decision because you are tired of trying, angry or resentful. Make sure that you have looked at your own communication style before making this decision. If you truly feel like you have tried everything, you will be much more likely to be able to walk away with little regret. You also increase the chance that the relationship will actually work out.
In order for your relationship with your partner to get better, you need to improve the communication skills in your relationship. This can be the very first step to getting your partner back; the one you fell in love with in the first place.
Good communication in a happy and romantic relationship is based on three core communication habits:

1. Clarity

Have you explained yourself clearly to your partner? Does your partner understand what you want? Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader who can guess what you want in the relationship. Sometimes you may feel that you can’t tell your partner what you want because you don’t even know what that is. This may be a time individual therapy can come into play to figure this out for yourself.
Clarity in communication within a relationship ensures that at least your partner knows what you need. Whether they understand those needs or can meet those needs can be a different story.
You should also try to clarify your understanding of what your partner wants. You may be trying 100%, but you could be working towards the wrong goal. Maybe you take your partner to work every morning to show you love them, but they feel that is smothering. Maybe you buy you flowers and nice gifts, but all they want is alone time with you.
Many people who are unhappy in their relationship lack clarity in communication. Try to be as clear as you can no matter how simple or serious the issue seems to be. Just remember to use a loving tone and while you are talking remember why you chose to be with your partner in the first place.

2. Honesty

Honesty is not a blunt instrument that you can beat your partner with. Honesty in a relationship is about being truthful to your partner just as much as it is about being honest with yourself. This requires a self-knowledge that comes from non-judgmental observations about your own actions and thoughts as well as those of your partner. Often in relationships we look at what our partner is doing and their part in the communication breakdown. By paying attention to your own emotions and your own thoughts, you can develop a greater perspective. From this greater perspective, you can now be honest with yourself and in turn be honest with your partner.
From self-understanding often comes a better understanding of the people around you, especially your partner.

3. Compassion

Honesty and clarity in a relationship should be complemented with love and kindness. There are several ways for you to be honest without causing any hurt or pain to your partner. Remember why you love your partner and remember that they have feelings too. Although it is important to be clear and honest, it is also important to be compassionate. Try writing down the things you want to tell your partner. Then read it a few days later and try to get in touch with how you might feel if that letter was directed to you. If you have a close friend that you trust, have them read the letter. Ask them if it is a compassionate way to express yourself. Just because it is honest and clear does not mean you are being nice.
If you are having trouble with any of these issues and you are looking for individual therapy or couples therapy in Long Beach, please give me a call to ask me a question or to set up an appointment.