Getting Love and Romance Back Into Your Marriage

Getting Love and Romance Back Into Your Marriage (my partner is my best friend without benefits..how to get love back)
Your wedding day is supposed to be the first day of your “happily ever after” fairy tale story, but the rising divorce rates show that for many, it is simply the beginning of the end. While some people do naturally grow apart, far too many couples bring their marriage to an end without ever exploring what got them to that point in the first place. Abusive relationships should certainly come to an end, but what about those where the love and passion just seems to slowly dissipate. The question you have to ask before you give up is whether or not you actually tried to make things work in the first place.
It is natural for the red hot flames of passion you feel at the start of a relationship to fade over time. That doesn’t mean that they should be snuffed out altogether, though, and it takes effort from both sides to keep things alive and well. People often go to couple’s therapy believing that their issues cannot be fixed, only to learn that they do still love each other, but have just slipped into a state where their spouse and their relationship has become secondary to a host of other things. It’s worth remembering that you married your spouse because you wanted them by your side for the rest of your life. What happened to change that?
Oftentimes, people who become comfortable with their partner also become too comfortable in allowing passion and romance to burn out. There is a belief is that your spouse will be there through thick and thin, because that was part of the vows that were made on your wedding day. That comfort and high level of belief often make it seem as though passion is wholly unnecessary, but that is not the case. Love and passion are the perfect bedfellows, and one usually can’t exist without the other. Take passion out of the equation, and love will often follow it right out of the door.
Couples who drift apart in this way often feel as though what is happening is somehow out of their control. The truth of the matter is that you allowed the ship to steer off course, and what you have to do now is get your hands back on the wheel and begin to chart the path that you wanted to follow in the first place. This is a move that requires participation from both partners. You both need to make the decision to rediscover the love that is probably still there, but which is buried so deep that it has become hard to find. Find reasons to do things together and be intimate, and think about talking to a couple’s therapist. Getting back on the love path can be difficult without the proper guidance, and a therapist can provide you with the tools you and your spouse need to navigate correctly.

If you are looking for individual therapy or couples therapy in Long Beach, please give me a call to ask me a question or to set up an appointment.