Is My Self-Esteem To Blame For My Relationship Problems?

There are countless reasons why people seek out couple’s therapy in Long Beach, and if you have been in a troubled relationship in the past, you are probably well aware of the most common of these reasons. Infidelity, money issues, and sexual problems are pretty high on that list, but you may not be aware that self-esteem is another big reason why relationships end up in trouble. If one of the members of a partnership does not have particularly good feelings about themselves, it can end up causing some major problems that could well result in a trip to couple’s therapy.

We all dream of unconditional love, but that is a concept that people with low self-esteem often have a hard time believing in. For example, losing a job can be a devastating blow that requires a high level of sympathy and support from a partner when the news is broken. A person with low self-esteem will often believe that their partner will view them in a negative light or see them as less than once the bad news has been passed on.  The biggest fear is that their partner will no longer love them like they used to, which is almost always the furthest thing from the truth. A good partner will help lite you up when you are feeling at your lowest point.

You might imagine that a person with low self-esteem would actually have a better impression of themselves once they are in a loving relationship, but it often ends up going in the opposite direction. The more a partner professes their love and talks about the positive, the more a person with low self-esteem starts to question their reasons for doing so. After all, if you can’t find any good in yourself, why would someone else. This can eventually lead to feelings of mistrust and the belief that your spouse is after something as opposed to just loving you unconditionally.

Once those feelings of mistrust start to arise, the person with low self-esteem will start to question their partner in ways that are truly negative. It may start off simply enough with questions of why the spouse is saying kind things. If you get in the habit of doing that, you can bet that your partner will soon get in the habit of not saying anything positive at all.

If you know that you have a problem with self-esteem, I would strongly recommend that you get professional help in dealing with it before it gets the chance to taint your relationship. Talking to a therapist can help you get to the heart of what it is that makes you feel the way you do about yourself. Even when you believe you already know, a therapist can often bring you to realizations that you never expected, after which you can get the tools you need to start thinking more positively.  In turn, that can help your relationship be the happy place that you originally intended it to be.

If you are looking for a counselor in Long Beach or Lakewood area, please call me at 562-310-9741 to get started.