Pros and Cons of an Open Relationship

If you’ve never been in, or known someone in an open relationship, it can be hard to wrap your mind around how an open relationship works, or why someone would even agree to such an arrangement. There are certainly pros and cons to being in an open relationship, but it is an arrangement that takes a lot of work. If you’re considering an open relationship, here are some things to consider:

Pros

Be with other people

When you’re in a typical relationship, it can be frustrating to feel guilty for enjoying the attentions of another attractive individual. In an open relationship, you can enjoy being with whomever you like, without guilt.

Sexual variety

Need I say more?

It can be casual

This is a big pro for anyone afraid of commitment or not interested in commitment, as open relationships are often casual.

Excitement

Neither of you are going to be bored. The greater variety in your respective sex lives means that when you are with each other, you won’t fall into the routine that monogamous relationships often do. Often people in open relationships bring new sexual techniques to each other that they learned from other people.

Healthy Competition

When you and your partner are each aware that the other is enjoying other people, you’re both stepping up your game to make sure the sex at home is better than the rest.  Not to mention putting forth more effort in everything else in a relationship needed for it to thrive.

No Guilt

Well, in theory, anyway (see below).

Cons

The guilt

Just because an open relationship gives you explicit permission to sleep with others does not mean you will not feel at least a little bit of guilt.

Jealousy

You and your partner may have an agreement regarding sleeping with others, but that does not mean you won’t feel some jealousy when your partner does have a date. Insecurities can come up about your own worth, if you are good enough, good looking enough, etc.

Competition

The competition that encourages you to put everything you have into your relationship to keep your partner coming back can be good for your relationship. However, you may find yourselves competing against one another for the most exciting sex life, and that may not be so healthy.

Disease and pregnancy

Even if you are very careful about safe sex, every contraceptive has some failures. Your risk increases as your sexual partners increase.

Time

When your partner is seeing others, you may find yourself with a little more free time. Of course, if you have several partners, you may find yourself having to juggle your schedule more.

Obsession

No matter how open you are about your relationship, you may still encounter those sexual partners who become obsessed with you. You may have to take a very firm stand with these people to get them to leave you alone, especially if they want to be your main relationship.

Your partner could leave

When you both have explicit permission to wander, there tends to be more fear that your partner could wander away. This could make you both less secure in your relationship.

If you and your partner are considering opening your relationship but you are concerned about the potential ramifications of doing so, you may wish to speak with a relationship counselor about what you both hope to gain from such an arrangement. If you would like to find a relationship counselor in Long Beach to help you figure out whether you and your partner might be able to make an open relationship work, contact me at 562-310-9741.