How To Handle My Husband’s Midlife Crisis

In the movies, a husband in the throes of a midlife crisis will ditch his wife for a younger, prettier model, leaving his spouse to pick up the pieces after he is gone. While men do sometimes fantasize being with a younger woman when the crisis comes, it is certainly not the only thing that pops into their head. They may feel the urge to travel, upgrade to a flashier car, or simply look for some sort of adventure or excitement that they feel has been missing from their life for too long. It can be a difficult time for a wife, but it doesn’t have to be a traumatic one if you play you cards right.

As the wife of a man in the middle of a midlife crisis, the first thing that you have to understand is that his behavior is not personal. He is not behaving the way he is because of some need to get back at you, or because he believes that you are somehow responsible for his current restlessness. This is simply a point in a man’s life where he goes through a period of change that causes him to question where he has been and where he is going. If you still love your husband, you need to let him know that you want to take the journey with him. Play an active role in what he is doing, and let him know how his actions are affecting you.

Many women will simply throw up their hands and allow bad things to happen because they believe there is nothing they can do to help their husband through his midlife crisis. If you take that approach, you are essentially letting him change the course of your relationship without any sort of input for you. If you were the passenger in a car that he was driving, would you allow him to run head-on into a wall, or would you grab hold of the steering wheel and try to pull him in a direction that will save you both?

There is also a possibility that you can use this midlife crisis as an opportunity to look at where you are in your life at the moment. Are you willing to do some changing and perhaps have a little adventure or two along the way? Many women fight so hard to maintain the status quo during this period that they end up making their husband feel more trapped than he already is. This is not to say that you should just allow him free rein to go and do as he pleases, but you can share in some of those experiences, as well as find ways to spice up your own life without it hurting the relationship you have with your husband.

All of this is easier said than done, and you can get some real insight into how to make it happen by committing to couple’s therapy. You will quickly start to understand what the driving forces are behind your husband’s sudden need for change, and you may be surprised to learn that he really does want you to come along for the ride, or at least be accepting of his feelings as he goes through this life transformation.