How to handle my wife who is in menopause
In relationships, it is often the woman who is asked to adopt the caring, nurturing role, but a time will come when she expects that kindness to be repaid. That often happens when a woman hits menopause, but ask the average man what he is supposed to do during this sometimes tumultuous change in his wife’s life and he will be lost for an answer. There are numerous things a man can do to support his wife during menopause, but before he gets started, he has to understand that the way his wife is behaving towards him is nothing personal.
Specifically, we are talking about the emotional changes that a woman experiences during menopause, as those tend to be the bigger issue when it comes to the husband. Women very often go on an emotional rollercoaster during menopause, and when they are on the way down towards feeling frustrated and out of sorts, they will often lash out at the closest person, which often ends up being the husband. Hurtful things can be said, which is why I can’t stress enough to men that you have to do all you can to tell yourself that it isn’t personal. I would also recommend getting the support of a therapist during this time for yourself. Often times men are taught to support their friends by offering solutions to problems. A therapist can offer support and ways you can help the situation in the best way possible.
Men can help themselves by learning more about menopause and how it is affecting the woman that they love. It is not uncommon for men to make jokes about the hot flashes and the emotional ups and downs, but that does nothing but add to the emotional fire. Women in menopause often feel confused or unsure about a number of things, with their sexuality often at the top of the list. They want to feel loved and know that they are still attractive to the man they love, and a good husband can show that by being kind, supportive, and offering a hug or a shoulder to cry on as needed.
Men often feel as though they have to be in charge of every situation, which leads many of them to start offering all sorts of advice to their wife. This is something that is not likely to be looked upon very kindly by a menopausal woman, so instead of telling her what you think she should do, tell her instead that you love her and will do all you can to help. It’s also worth noting that the emotions being displayed by a woman around this age may have nothing to do with menopause, and may in fact be tied to other issues such as finances or children moving out of the family. Talking about what is going on is an excellent way to understand what your wife is feeling.
If you are the type of man who finds these sorts of discussions awkward or uncomfortable, you could talk to a therapist for advice on how to handle what can be a tricky situation. You could also ask your wife to come along, so that you can both openly discuss what you need from one another in an environment that is open and non-judgmental.