How Can I help My Child Who is Anxious at School?

As parents, we all try to be in tune with the thoughts and feelings of our children, but we also know that it simply isn’t possible. Sure, you may be aware that something is troubling your little one, but getting the information out of them can, at times, be a Herculean task. There are also times when we are a lot more in touch with our own emotions than those of our children, and one of those times may very well be when they need you most. What we are talking about here is the first day of school for a child.
It is easy to become totally consumed with your own feelings on this big day. You want to make sure that their bag is packed and ready to go, and that they are dressed up just right for opening day. You may take a moment to update your status on social media, which is very much the norm for just about every event nowadays. In between all of this, you will probably be telling your child about how exciting this is for them, and how they should be happy that they are getting to be so big. How many parents actually stop and ask how the child is feeling, or take a moment to think about how all of this must look through their eyes?
For the most part, kids will try their best to do what you ask of them, which means they may well try to feign the excitement that you are saying they should be feeling. On the inside, though, there is a better than average chance that they are terrified. Even as adults, we all get a little touch of anxiety when we are dropped into a new situation, even if it is one where we know what to expect. School is something totally new for kids, and even the ones who are ready to go are going to feel some level of trepidation.
Another issue that parents may face as the school year progresses is getting a true idea of what life is actually like for their kids in their new world. Again, they will try to convince you that all is fine, if only to satisfy your need for it to be, but you really have to be on the lookout for signs that something is not as it should be. If the mood of your child has changed in the course of their time at school, it may be that they are truly unhappy with the situation, or that they are being bullied. I am not trying to make a little situation into a big one, but this can really be the start of how the foundation of their communication with you goes. If you take the time to get to know how they are truly feeling about school and ask them open ended questions about their day, they are much more likely to tell you about things when they are older (e.g. who they are dating, etc).
While most parents will automatically jump to bullying as potentially being the issue, there are other factors such as feelings of abandonment or not feeling good enough that could really be the problem. This is where taking your child to a therapist with experience in talking to children can help. The child may feel more comfortable talking to them, and the therapist will know just the right questions to ask. Never just assume that your child is as enthralled with school life as you hope they will be.