How to Avoid Playing Favorites with Your Kids

Being a parent of multiple children is a lot like performing a balancing act, as you want to be sure that each one gets all the time and attention that they need, preferably in equal amounts. This is actually a little tougher than it sounds, as it’s not uncommon for a parent to have a better connection with one child than with another. For example, one parent who loves sports may spend more time with a child who is active in sports than with their other child who is interested in theater. It’s a natural thing, but one that the “left out” child will not understand, as they will feel that their parent is playing favorites.
There are simple ways to avoid playing favorites with your kids, and it all comes down to making some little sacrifices on your part. We will stick with the analogy outlined in the opening part of this article to look at ways in which you can avoid the “playing favorites” tag. The first thing you can do is switch up the routine a little. If the sporty parent takes the sporty child to sports games and practices while the other parent does all the theater duties with the artistic child, change that up. Take turns in going to each of the events with the kids so that neither feels neglected.
When you adopt that routine, you may find that the kids actually prefer having one parent over another with them at their events, and they may request that the status quo be returned. That is fine, but it also doesn’t mean that you should take no interest in what your other kids are doing. Ask them about their events, and be sure to encourage them and tell them that they are doing a good job. It’s all about making each of your kids feel special, even if you are spending a little more time with one than the other.
You can create a better balance by being aware of how much time you spend with each of your kids. If schedules have you spending more time with one than the other, create reasons to spend time with your other child. If you have to run an errand, create a balance by inviting one of the kids along. Use that alone time to ask about their day, and how things are going with school and with their activities. You can create these moments when the other child is busy with something else, so that they do not feel left out.
At the end of the day, kids probably won’t spend so much time questioning the balance of time if they are aware of how much you love them. All kids want to feel loved by their parents, and taking a little bit of time out of your day to ask each one about how their day went, whilst also letting them know that you love them and are proud of them will go a long way towards letting them know that no favoritism is being displayed.