Things to Address Before Having Kids.

Tips From a Child Therapist In Long Beach.

When you have been with a person for an extended amount of time and believe that they are the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, there is a natural progression that tends to follow. The first decision to be made is whether to marry or not, and that is usually followed with the decision to have children. The kids subject is one that can be a deal breaker for many couples, which is why it’s an important decision to have early on in a committed relationship. There is a lot more to this discussion that simply deciding whether kids are in your future or not, though, so let’s look at what else should be considered.

Different people have very different ideas on how children should be raised, much of which is often based on their own upbringing. When you have a situation where a couple has not discussed these ideas before having children, you will often find that arguments become commonplace when the little one finally arrives. It’s a tough conversation to have, as extreme differences can be a problem, but there is a way to reach a compromise and a middle ground though discussion, with a therapist even helping, if need be.

One of the more common disagreements when it comes to raising kids is the question of religion. While adults can easily set their religious differences aside and still have a happy relationship, it can be a little more difficult when deciding how a child should be raised. For example, an atheist may believe that a child should be allowed to make their own decisions in that regard, whereas a partner of a specific faith might want the child to be raised knowing about that specific faith.

There is also the subject of punishment to consider. We are still in an age where adults were routinely spanked as kids, while others were placed in time out situations. As I said earlier on in this piece, it is often how you were raised that dictates how you believe punishment should be handled with your own children. This is one area where both parents need to be on the same page, as children require consistency from their parents, which is not something they can get when two different approaches are being applied.

The list of potential disagreement points goes on and on, from how a child should eat (junk food or healthy, vegetarian or meat eater) to where they should get an education (public school, private school, religious school). While people who want to have kids often believe that these are things that can be agreed upon along the way, the fact of the matter is that there is a better chance of a peaceful, happy family home if the parents are in agreement on everything from day one. Concessions and sacrifices are going to have to be made on both sides, but doing that beforehand makes it more likely that your child will grow up in a happy environment.