How a Parent Can Get Their Child to Play Again
If you are the parent of a young child (I am not taking about teens), you are probably still at an age where you have a pretty clear recollection of what your childhood was like. For most of you, childhood memories might possibly involve a lot of play time outside of the house, with all sorts of fun games with your friends a part of your daily routine. Take a moment to think about what that was like and compare it with what your children do today. Is there any comparison, or are you suddenly realizing that your little ones aren’t playing enough?
When I say “play” here, I am not talking about classes and sports activities that they may be enrolled in outside of school, as those are often part of the lack of play problem. There seems to be a need to fill up the lives of our kids with activities that keep them occupied and stimulated every waking moment, but those activities may actually be adding a level of stress that many kids have difficulty dealing with. There are more and more cases of young children getting burned out from essentially having no fun time, even though parents are of the belief that these extra-curricular programs are how their kids get to play. There is a difference between playing with your friends in an unstructured play environment where kids have to negotiate what you will be doing, problem solve issues, be creative with resources, etc. Although structured activities have a different set of positives, it doesn’t allow kids the same opportunity to be creative, organize their time, and problem solve on their own. Usually in structured activities there is an adult monitoring and solving problems for the kids.
Another issue that modern parents face is the use of electronics at a very early age for kids. Whether it be gaming systems, tablets, or smartphones, today’s kids are now more likely to be stuck in front of a screen playing video games than they are to be outside with other kids. Electronics are reducing the amount of actual face to face interaction that kids experience (kids even have a different ability to look someone in the eyes compared to kids who aren’t on their screens as often), which can hinder how they develop socially. While children do need to be up on the latest technology in today’s world so they can connect with other kids their age, you can give them too much of a “good thing”.
The question that needs to be answered now is how parents can steer their kids back to real play before the little ones forget how to do it altogether. For many parents, that will mean redefining their idea of what play is all about. The best way to start is to create some free time in the life of your child as opposed to filling every waking moment with extra-curricular activities. Get them off the electronics and out to a local park, where they are likely to encounter other kids. That time spent free from pixels or pre-planned activities is where your little ones will learn to play again. Also, be aware of your own electronics usage. Kids often do what they see their parents doing.
What you might discover is that you too needed a break from the routine that you had created for your child. Instead of driving them from one activity to the next, you will have the time to relax, read a book, or perhaps even get out there with your child and have some play fun of your own. We all need those moments Making sure they have their extra-curricular activities (if this is your thing), and some electronics time combined with time with their friends and some down time.
After reading this, you may think, “this therapist thinks I shouldn’t put my kids in sports”. That is not at all what I am saying. I am encouraging balance. Parents often have their kids in an art class and sport team and (fill in the blank). I am saying to not fill up all of their time with one particular thing (whether it be spending all of their time on electronics, spending every waking moment going to activities or having all day, every day with absolutely nothing to do).