Internalized Homophobia: What It Is and How You Can Beat It. Tips From A LGBTQI Therapist In Long Beach
The LGBTQI community faces many external dangers. Discrimination, violence, and abuse are just a handful of the plights that many of us encounter. But sometimes, the most unsettling problem surrounding our sexuality lies within.
Internalized homophobia is a prevalent problem that affects many of us. It’s dangerous because it shapes our beliefs and actions without us even knowing.
What is internalized homophobia? It’s a personal belief that being gay, lesbian, and/or bisexual is wrong. You’ve acknowledged your homosexuality but you view it as a negative thing. You might be in a relationship but you’re adamant that you and your partner stay in the closet. You turn your nose up at LGBTQI people who are proud or flamboyant. You’ve subjected yourself to conversion therapy. You’ve pondered suicide. You have difficulty forming intimate relationships despite the fact that you want them.
These are all clear signs of internalized homophobia. You might even recognize the condition as one of several other commonly used terms: homonegativity, heterosexism, or self-prejudice.
While there are several causes, internalized homophobia is most often an effect of people around us that don’t agree with our sexuality. Watching TV, hearing people’s conversations as you walk by, and society in general can feed into internalized homophobia. An even more powerful factor that can negatively shape our view of ourselves is when people we love or trust view our sexuality as a negative thing. We trust their opinions and value their love or leadership. We feel that something must truly be wrong with us if we’ve lost the approval of those who mean the most to us.
Giving in to this internal negative urge is detrimental. After being honest with yourself about your sexuality, you’re completely unable to enjoy the benefits. You deny yourself love and truth. You evade happiness. A life that’s devoid of these things doesn’t often head in a positive direction. Depression, destructive behavior, and suicide could be some of the possible outcomes without addressing it.
The good news is that there’s a way to overcome it. In fact, there are several ways.
Most importantly: Get away from the negative influences in your life. If you’re surrounded by people who constantly tell you that your sexuality is wrong or that you don’t deserve love, you’ll continue to believe it on some level. Instead, surround yourself with a support system of friends and other LGBTQI people who can positively reinforce the benefits of loving yourself and your sexuality.
Critically examine the effect that internalized homophobia is having on your life. Think about your relationships and your happiness. Define what you want to happen in your life. The sooner you do this, the sooner you’ll realize that it’s standing in the way of your positive future.
If you feel this work is too strenuous to do on your own, seek the help of an LGBTQI therapist. You need someone in your corner that understands your feelings and struggles. Finding a therapist that is LGBTQI or well-versed in LGBTQI issues can ensure that you’ll receive compassionate, specific assistance in healing yourself.
Internalized homophobia is tricky because it’s ingrained in your psyche. But with some support and possible professional intervention, you can beat it.