How Do I Stop Being Angry About Being Cheated On?

When someone steps outside of the relationship to cheat, getting trust back becomes very difficult. The feelings of anger and mistrust felt by the person who was cheated on are tough to shake. People often start questioning every move and statement that their partner makes, whilst also checking in on each and every one of their moves. Questions about work hours and who your partner is hanging out with become all-consuming, to the point where you have to start asking yourself whether or not you are willing to invest the amount of time and effort it will take to make the relationship work.

One way to decide whether or not to put the effort in is to start by looking at the time already invested. You also have to think about the positive qualities of your partner, whilst thinking about the relationship when it was on a solid foundation. If the positives you take from these thoughts outweigh the bad, then a time limit has to be put on how long you expect your partner to pay for their crimes. There are people who can harbor anger and hate over cheating for a long time. If you are in that group, think about the judicial system and the time that criminals have to serve before being set free and given a second chance. Does your punishment fit the crime?

It is also important to think about your own part in the cheating. There is no excuse for infidelity, but try to be open-minded and consider that perhaps your partner was not getting all they need out of the relationship before they strayed. What you may find is that a lack of communication on both sides played a role in their decision to go outside the relationship. If you find that your partner becomes more open about their needs and feelings after the cheating has been discovered, you may find that your anger begins to subside a little. It then becomes up to your whether or not you feel you will be able to get past your anger and pain to a level where you can start to get the relationship back to where it once was.

Entering into couple’s therapy can help open up the lines of communications once more. Asking for advice from friends and family can often lead to mixed messages, as those people are likely to take sides and have a hard time staying neutral. It’s a good idea to get an impartial perspective before making a decision that will impact the rest of your life. That is what a therapist can provide for you.