Offering help to your child who was sexually abused.

Written by a licensed therapist in Long Beach.

One of the biggest keys in the recovery of a child who has been molested is how you respond to their sexual abuse. You need to let your child know that you believe them, and that they were not at fault for what happened. There is more that you can do, but please ensure that if nothing else, you do those two things. Once you have reassured them, the next step is to talk to a professional therapist. This will allow your child to tell their story and express their feelings in a safe environment. There is something comforting about telling these awful things to someone they will never see again, as it often removed the fear, embarrassment, and/or shame they may be feeling. Talking to a therapist can allow your child to open up to make you aware of what they need from you. It will also help you both see what can be done to make the situation better over time through love and support. You will both learn valuable tools that will help you get through what is sure to be a rough period.

I have used a number of different approaches when dealing with children who have been victims of sexual abuse. Whatever the approach, the first step is always to make the child feel comfortable and make them aware that they are in total control of what happens in the therapy sessions. I always make it clear that I will never ask them to talk about a subject that they don’t want to talk about or that they are not prepared to discuss. The next step is to find out how the child is best able to express themselves. While talk is the approach I generally take, some children are better suited to art or play forms of therapy. This is sometimes an easier way for them to express their feelings when they cannot do so verbally. Perhaps most importantly, the child needs to be able to effectively process the feelings and facts that come with sexual abuse.