How To Get Romance and Love Back Into Your Marriage
If you wake up one morning and realize that the honeymoon is over and that the fairy tale ending of happily ever after is total myth, – oops! Divorce rates are on the rise for various reasons and couples pretty much see the end to their relationship on the horizon before it ever happens. In some situations, people get married too young and, by nature, they grow apart as they continue to grow up. In other situations, couples seem to think that marriage is a walk through a rose garden and it’s not. Marriage takes a lot of work from both parties and both people must “want” to work things out when they run into problems.
In some cases, the passion seems to have left the relationship at no one’s fault but it’s gone. Before giving up on the marriage, ask yourself if you and your spouse have seriously tried to make things work from the very beginning.
Really high passions that are red-hot at the beginning of a relationship will fade over time at some point. That does not mean they should be totally dead and buried. It does take an effort on both of your parts to keep your relationship alive and happy. Some couples will agree to couples therapy, believing nothing is going to fix the situation but they will go through the motions. Amazingly, once in therapy, some people actually discover they truly still love each other and want to work things out. Both parties come to the realization things have just slipped away because of so many other things going on in their lives and they want to reprioritize their relationship as number one.
Always remember, you married each other to be each others best friend and your partner for life. You might well ask “what went wrong, what happened?” It’s really not that uncommon, people become comfortable with each other, start taking each other for granted and just settle in. Settling in can lead to passion and romance burning out. Passion and love actually go hand in hand, one allows the other to prosper and grow. Complacency can easily drive passion out of the equation, followed closely behind by love.
Couples who feel their relationship is falling apart and they are drifting apart believe there is no coming back, and that everything is over. This is just not true unless you want it to end. You have control over your marriage but you must get back on course. In order to get back on course, both of you must want it to happen, it is not a one person effort. It might take a little more effort from one person at the beginning to convince the other person to get on board, but ultimately both people need to make effort to save the relationship. As long as you are both willing to get your marriage back on track, it can happen. Your love for each other is still there, it’s just been buried deep down inside and must be rediscovered. Find things to do together and bring back intimacy. If you both feel you need help in getting back on track, seek out a couples therapist. Therapists can help you talk out issues, discover what’s put a wedge between both of you and help you find each other again. They can also help you with ideas to reignite intimacy and figure out how to prioritize your relationship once again.
If you are looking for an individual therapist or couples therapist in Long Beach, Lakewood or the surrounding areas, please give me a call to ask me a question or to set up an appointment.