5 Tips To Save Your Relationship.
Written By A Relationship Counselor In Long Beach.
For many, the signs that a relationship is over include a loss of communication, trust, passion, or a combination of all three. This does not have to be the case. Relationships require a lot of hard work. Listed below are a few things that you and your partner can do to help things go well:
1. Focus on the positive over the negative.
About 75% of the way you communicate is non-verbal. Saying something nice in a sarcastic tone takes away the meaning of the words. Grunting, eye rolling, or turning your back are also viewed as negative by your partner. The positives in your relationship should outweigh the negatives by about 20 to 1.
2. Make eye contact with your partner when you want them to listen.
Relationships fail when one person feels their words are not being heard by the other. People are not always looking for agreement, they are usually just looking for some sort of sign that you are actually listening.
3. Make physical contact when you are in a disagreement or argument.
A gentle touch can often help cushion the blow of a disagreement. A touch of this kind is reassuring, and let’s your partner know that you care, even though you may not agree with their stance.
4. Repeat back what you heard the other person say.
Not being heard may well be a feeling that the other person shares with you. If they seem frustrated, repeat what they said and ask if you understand correctly. When an argument ensues, we are often too busy preparing a response, making it impossible to listen. All we are waiting for is a space where we can butt in and deliver our attack or defense. If you show that you are listening, your partner might just return the favor.
5. Spend at least 1 night per week doing something intimate.
I don’t necessarily just mean sex. It could be a massage, showering together, or watching a movie by candlelight.
Things can be a little more complicated when you have children, as making time to follow the above tips can be difficult. It may seem difficult to find the time, but it is important that you make the effort. Kids have a way of putting a strain on a relationship, making it feel as though you are in a tug of war battle than a parenting team. Take time to read my blog about helping your relationship survive the children.
If you live in California and are looking for a couple’s therapist, please give us a call at Long Beach Therapy: 562-310-9741.