When I am writing about ADD and ADHD, I usually assume that the person who has ADD/ADHD isn’t going to have the attention to finish reading the information. This isn’t because they don’t want to finish it, it is because of a disorder they have that makes it extremely difficult to complete tasks. My advice is to seek out a therapist for attention problems near you because people with ADD/ADHD tend to do much better with live instruction rather than reading a self-help blog or book.
Many people come to Long Beach Therapy for help with ADHD and ADD to get help with organization, follow through and communication. A majority of people who take medication and/or seek therapy for ADHD and ADD do so because their ADHD/ADD has caused issues in their job and/or relationships.
Here are some tips for living with ADD and ADHD:
TIP #1: Use your Calendar, A LOT!
Write EVERYTHING in your calendar and set alarms on your phone 4 times per day to look at your calendar. Write down important birthdays, due dates for projects, appointments, and write down daily chores (such as Monday is trash day, so take out the trash).
Once you get in the habit of checking your calendar every day, you can turn off the alarms. Set alarms for: 10 minutes after you usually get up, 2 hours after you wake up, 4 hours after you wake up and at dinner time.
TIP #2: Time Management
Don’t assume everything will go as planned. When doing a project, plan extra time for mistakes or things going wrong. When deciding on what time to leave to meet up with your friend, plan for extra time for traffic, getting gas (that you forgot to get yesterday), getting lost, and other things that can go wrong.
I recommend adding 20% more time than you think. So, if you think it will take you 30 minutes to get to your friend’s house, leave 36 minutes early (that is 20%).
TIP #3: Think Ahead
If you are in college, have someone who is good with time management sit with you at the beginning of each semester/trimester. Look through the syllabus for every class and make a plan when you are going to start projects so that you don’t end up having 3 big projects to complete the day before they are all due on the same due date.
TIP #4: Make Eye Contact
Part of why people with ADD/ADHD are told they don’t listen is because they can’t multitask the way other people can. So when you make eye contact with the person talking to you, you are more likely to fully absorb what they are telling you. It also makes them feel like what they are telling you is important to you.
TIP #5: Repeat Back What You Heard
You don’t have to be a parrot or be annoying, but if your spouse said “can you pick up the kids from school today and run to the store to get toilet paper”, your response should be something like “I will pick up the toilet paper right before grabbing the kids from school”.
Oftentimes, people who live with someone with ADHD/ADD gets frustrated because the person with ADD/ADHD forgets a lot. This technique actually does help your memory but it also lets the person you are talking to know that you care and that you are listening.
TIP #6: Routine is Key
Most people tend to remember things more when it is part of their daily routine. So whenever possible, do things on the same day and time every week. If you take the trash to the curb every Sunday at 8pm, go to the grocery store every Thursday at 6pm, and do your laundry every Tuesday at 6pm, you are less likely to forget.
Notice that I didn’t say “take out the trash every Sunday night”, I said “Sunday at 8pm”. Be specific with your routine.
TIP #7: Get into Therapy
You don’t have to go to therapy weekly, but talking to a therapist can help you learn the skills necessary to organize your life so that you are happy and the people around you are happy.
PRO TIP:
You already wrote down all the important birthdays and anniversaries in your life. Now set an alert 30 days (YES, THIRTY DAYS) before your anniversary, your partners birthday and before your kid’s birthdays so that you can plan something special. It also makes the people in your life feel loved when you make a comment about their special day BEFORE their birthday.
If you live in California and are looking for a therapist, please give us a call at Long Beach Therapy: 562-310-9741. We offer in-person therapy and also online therapy.