How to reconnect with my partner? Tips from a relationship counselor in Long Beach.
Many couples find that the face-to-face contact of their early dating days is gradually replaced by hurried texts, emails, and instant messages. While digital communication is great for some purposes, it doesn’t positively impact your brain and nervous system in the same way as face-to-face communication.
Here are 7 tips to reconnect with your partner:
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Schedule time to spend together:
For many couples, things get busy quick with day-to-day activities and they push their relationship to the bottom of the priority list. It is important to schedule a date night (or date day) as often as you can (1x/week is great, but 1x/month is better than nothing).
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Develop a pattern of spending small amounts time together on a regular basis.
Get together-time in your routine with a 10 minute walk after dinner each night or making dinner together (as long as it isn’t a stressful activity) or playing a few games of cards.
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Make eye contact when talking:
With our busy lives, many people will multitask while they are having conversations with their partner. If you want a connection with your partner, put your phone down when you talk with them and make eye contact. If they start talking to you when you are in the middle of something, ask them “please hold on just a second because I want to finish this activity so I can give you my full attention”.
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Small gestures:
Even in the busiest of times, most people have 30 seconds to write a quick note that says “I love you” on it. Send your partner a text, leave a note, touch their back as you walk by them (if you know this is something they are okay with), and find other ways to have little connections throughout the day.
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Listen:
Make sure if they take the time to talk to you about something that you take the time to listen. When a partner doesn’t feel heard or doesn’t feel seen, they tend to disconnect.
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Follow up:
If your partner told you about their difficult boss or a friend who is struggling, make a point to ask your partner about it at a later time. This lets them know you were listening, that you care and that you SEE them!
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Make an appointment with a therapist specializing in couples:
If you have legitimately tried all of these things and you and your partner still aren’t connecting, consider making a few appointments with a therapist who specializes in relationship issues who can give you individualized ideas on how to reconnect with your partner.
We believe that everyone is different as are the emotional difficulties that our clients bring with them to therapy/counseling services. At Long Beach Therapy, we adjust to your individualized needs and help create a personalized therapy plan to help you get through the issues you are facing. To find out more about if we would be a good fit for you and your relationship, please call us at 562-310-9741.
