How to help my teen get a better self-esteem
In this digital era, teens often create harmful notions in their minds about what is necessary to be loved unconditionally and accepted. They are constantly exposed to comments such as “be smarter, be slimmer, be stronger, be more popular, do more, do better, do your best” from the media, television, classmates, and sometimes even from parents. The saddest part that these messages are trying to convey is that kids are not good enough the way they are. They genuinely believe they are not successful enough, famous enough, skinny enough, influential enough, clever enough, or intelligent enough, so they do not deserve compassion and love.
When teens are bombarded with these thoughts, many of them develop guilt within themselves, a harmful emotion that lowers confidence by whispering, “I’m not enough.” These thoughts lead them to act out, show anger, disrespect, and disregard for rules, and distance themselves from their parents to show their hurt. In such situations, parental love is the unwavering protection and supporting force parents can provide for their children.
Why? Because it teaches children that they are certainly worthy of love in all situations. This impression that they are cared for provides a foundation of self-esteem that will influence their actions and emotional well-being throughout adolescence. It provides them with the security they will need when they enter adulthood. This positive atmosphere will also serve as the foundation for lasting friendships and love relationships in the future.
Why is parental love necessary?
At times when children are being difficult and do not follow the rules, parents still need to show unconditional love to instill the idea of them being worthy in their subconscious. This way, they are prepared to face the dangers and toxicity of the real world. When faced with toxicity in spousal relationships and friendships, they understand that it is not acceptable in any conditions. No matter how complicated situations get, no one has a right to treat them wrongly. This sense of worthiness is actually future protection.
Love is viewing someone as they deserve to be seen, as they truly are, rather than through the perspective of their behaviors or the goals they achieve. Three simple words like “I love you” have enormous power when combined, even if you get an eye roll from your teen when you say it. Parents need to show kids they notice their best qualities. Parents should certainly set some ground rules, but this does not mean restricting a kid’s independence or nature. Letting children explore the world on their own while supporting all their goals is what they require during their teenage years.
Summing it up
Parents who demonstrate how much they care about their children develop the children’s best selves by preparing them to navigate the world safely and sensibly. Relationships change over time. Friendships can vary, particularly throughout adolescence. School years go by. Teens leave home and move out at some point. The world might appear to be a dangerous and unpredictable place. Children who experience unconditional love from their parents have improved stress resistance, sense of love, self-esteem, and brain development.
Unconditional love lays the groundwork for healthy relationships. Children with less-controlling parents felt more accepted and loved, resulting in healthier relationships. They are also aware of when to cut off people who are not supportive of them, allowing them to create boundaries and live happy life.
If you live in California and are looking for a therapist for your teen or child, please give us a call at Long Beach Therapy: 562-310-9741. We provide in person therapy to teens living in Long Beach and we also offer online therapy for teens.