Coping with Chronic illness, how to live and not just exist.
I have personal and professional experience with chronic illness and chronic pain and understand how difficult it is to try to live life and not just exist with chronic pain. In this post, I will be using chronic illness and chronic pain interchangeably because most of what I am addressing here applies to both conditions.
There are so many losses (and micro-losses) associated with chronic illness. One of the things I hear most from clients with chronic illness goes something like this: “is this how my life is going to be every day, for the rest of my life?” and “It’s hard to feel like you are just existing and never thriving”.
Therapeutic support:
I list therapeutic support as the first tip because I believe it is the most important. Often, when you have a chronic illness, you grieve losses in different ways over and over, even if you become numb to the disappointment. The shock of the loss is gone but the hurt isn’t any less. Looking back at the friends you have lost, looking back at the activities you once loved that you can’t do, and/or looking at your partner/spouse thinking “how long will they stick around”. If you stick in this too long, it gets deeply depressing. Finding a therapist who understands and who can provide support, validation, and ideas on how to make small changes that can create happiness is very important.
How to find hope?
One of the most common struggles with people with chronic illness is when you think something is working and you start feeling better and then it stops working. You start believing (which may or may not be true), that you will ALWAYS feel this bad.
In this situation is it hard to find hope. If there was a one-solution-fits-all approach, I would be a millionaire. Unfortunately, there isn’t a one size fits all solution. I work with client’s on finding small things that give them a little happiness to get through the day. Eventually, these little things add up and much of the time, these small things make the difference between someone wanting to end their life and someone who feels like they can get through the day. If you are ever in a place of wanting to hurt yourself, please reach out for help by calling a 24-hour talk-line 855-845-7415 or 888-488-7386. If you are ready to sign up for therapy, you can also reach us at Long Beach Therapy at 562-310-9741.
Individual social support:
The loss of social support is real for many people who deal with chronic illness/pain. People with chronic illness often find that no one wants to hear about their medical issues and they don’t have anything else going on in their life to talk about, so they struggle with finding conversation with friends. It is also hard when you aren’t able to go out like other people because you might have to cancel last minute because of a medical issue or pain, or you might not be able to leave the house altogether. It is important to find little things to find enjoyment out of so that the chronic illness might take over 90-99% of your life, but not 100% of your life.
Group social support:
Finding others with chronic health issues can sometimes help, especially if you can talk about things other than you pain/illness. Sometimes you can look up your specific issue (if it has been diagnosed) and join a support group. Often, in those groups, people go to vent and it can be depressing, so make sure to ask the group leader before you join the group.
If you are able, find an online activity you can enjoy (video games, virtual game night, etc.) so that you don’t have to leave the house and you aren’t committed in case you have to cancel. At Long Beach Therapy, we help brainstorm ideas that are right for you so that you can try different activities that might bring you some joy.
If you are looking for therapeutic support and/or strategies to take care of your mental health while dealing with physical health issues, call/text us at Long Beach Therapy for in person or online therapy: 562-310-9741.