In every single relationship that you’re in, whether it’s a friendship or intimate relationship, the people that you care about are going to have amazing qualities and qualities that frustrate you. It’s important to remember the benefits of marrying someone with ADHD, especially when you are frustrated.
Oftentimes when you start a relationship, you focus on the positives. You know the negatives are there, but you focus on the positives Then, as time goes on, it gets harder and harder to be focused on the positives.
It’s always important to remember the balance and to remember the good things about them when they’re annoying you. It’s also good to remember the things about yourself that they put up with because we all have annoying qualities that our loved ones have to put up with.
1. Creativity and Innovation:
As you may already realize, people with ADHD often have a rich imagination and can think outside the box. I’ve oftentimes said that I think the cure for cancer is in someone’s head with ADHD or Autism because they think outside of the box. Pay attention to where their creativity helps in your relationship.
2. Spontaneity and Adventure:
A spouse with ADHD may have a spontaneous spirit, making living your life with them more adventurous. They oftentimes also tend to be good at being flexible if things need to change. A lot of times, I see clients who were attracted to the adventure and flexibility of their partner, but then only want their partner to have these qualities when it is convenient. Keep in mind the times when it is nice to have some creativity and adventure and how your partner might pull you into some fun!
3. Energy and Enthusiasm:
People with ADHD frequently have a lot of energy and can be very enthusiastic about their interests and activities. This enthusiasm can be contagious and invigorating and might give you a boost on low energy days. Like everything else, it is important that when you are frustrated, that you remember when these exact qualities that you are frustrated at are actually something you love.
4. Passion:
When individuals with ADHD are interested in something, they can be really passionate and dedicated about it. They are people who are fun to tell good news to because they will get excited with you and aren’t afraid to be loud and animated.
5. Empathy and Sensitivity:
Many people with ADHD are highly empathetic and sensitive to the emotions of others. For a lot of people with ADHD, this comes from feeling “not good enough” at some point in their life because they compare themselves with others who can do things easily that they struggle with. If you sit down with them and make eye contact (or better yet, ask them while you are doing something active), they may be willing to share some of their experiences with you.
6. Unique Perspective:
ADHD can offer a different way of seeing the world. They can offer you new insights into various situations that you may not have considered before. This tends to be one of the qualities that attract people to ADHD partners in the first place.
7. Personal Growth:
Being in a relationship with someone who has ADHD can help to promote your own personal growth. They can teach you patience, understanding, and the importance of communication, strengthening the bond between partners. These are skills that you can take with you to work, to friendships, and other aspects of your life.
Please try to remember these benefits during times when they are frustrating you. If you continue to struggle with someone with ADHD, feel free to call/text us at Long Beach Therapy to set up an appointment.