It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to be liked by everyone. But the reality is that not everyone will like you, and that’s okay. If you spend your time changing who you are to fit what others want, you’ll lose sight of your true self. The key is to be your genuine, authentic self. When you do that, you’ll naturally attract the right people and, just as importantly, “detract” the wrong ones.
If you aren’t attracting “the right people” when you are being genuine to yourself, therapy may be something for you to consider (I will talk about that more later in this blog post).
Think about it this way: no matter who you are, only a certain percentage of people are going to like you, just like only a certain percentage of people will like any of us. Trying to please everyone by changing your personality, interests, or values won’t bring the right people into your life. In fact, it may do the opposite. If you’re constantly reshaping yourself to fit in with people who don’t appreciate the real you, you’ll never find the people who do like you FOR YOU.
Instead, focus on being true to yourself. This doesn’t mean you should ignore others’ needs or never compromise because relationships are about give and take. But when you strike a balance between being yourself and being considerate of others, you create space for the right people to enter your life. Those who appreciate you for who you really are will naturally gravitate toward you, while those who don’t will fall away. And that’s exactly how it should be. So when you lose someone in your life, it’s important to evaluate if that was a “good loss”.
So, don’t let the opinions of those who don’t like you define your worth. Stay authentic, be kind, and trust that the right people will come into your life when you’re being your true self.
It is possible that your true self is harsh or critical of others and that you are pushing the right people away. In this situation, we can work with you on how to identify why you do this (you probably do this to yourself as well as others) and how to stand up for yourself without pushing the right people out of your life.
If you aren’t sure of how to be your true self OR if you aren’t sure how to determine if you are the problem in unhealthy relationships, think about calling/texting Long Beach Therapy to set up an appointment at 562-310-9741.