When someone hurts you, it’s natural to want them to fix it. You might find yourself waiting for an apology, an explanation, or even some grand gesture that makes things right again. But often, the painful truth is that the person who caused your pain is rarely the one who heals you. Healing, as unfair as it sounds, becomes your responsibility.
When someone hurts you, it’s important to remember that the hurt is not your fault. Whether it’s a betrayal, a lie, physical abuse, or neglect, the blame lies with the person who inflicted the wound. However, once the damage is done, you are left with the mess and have to determine whether you live with the mess or whether you are going to clean up. You’re the one who has to manage the emotions, the shattered trust, and the self-doubt that often follows. And here’s the hardest part: the person who caused that pain may not be willing or able to clean it up for you.
This can feel incredibly unjust. Why should you be the one to pick up the pieces when you didn’t break anything? The reality is that waiting for the person who hurt you to fix things can keep you stuck in a cycle of disappointment and frustration. You might feel like your healing depends on their actions—on their apology, their change, their effort to make amends. But healing doesn’t work that way.
How to heal when someone hurt me?
Real healing comes from within. It requires accepting the hurt, grieving the loss, and slowly rebuilding your own sense of self-worth and peace. It’s not easy, and it often feels like an uphill battle. But the process of healing is empowering because it puts you in control. You can’t control how others act, but you can control how you respond, how you grow, and how you move forward.
While it’s natural to want closure from the person who caused your pain, true healing happens when you stop relying on them for it. You take ownership of your healing journey, and that is where your strength lies. It’s not fair, but it is freeing. Ultimately, the person who heals you is you.
If you are ready to take the first step in healing, consider calling/texting us at Long Beach therapy. We have different ways of helping our clients heal. At Long Beach Therapy, we provide our clients the option of EMDR therapy, Flash Therapy, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and regular talk therapy on their healing journey.