Imagine you’re walking down the street, and suddenly a big dog starts barking loudly at you. How you react in that moment is called a “stress response”. These reactions—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—are ways your body tries to protect you when it thinks you’re in danger. Here’s what each of them mean:
1. Fight
What it is: Your survival part of your brain has made the decision that it thinks you can “fight” and win while defending yourself against whatever is making you feel threatened.
How it feels: You might get mad, your heart races, and you feel like yelling or pushing back.
Example: If someone says something mean to you, you might argue back or get ready to defend yourself physically.
2. Flight
What it is: This is when your body tells you to get out of there—to run away from the situation because you don’t think you can defend yourself, but it has determined that you are either fast enough to get away from the person OR you have some type of “out” (like you are closer to a door/window than the other person).
How it feels: You might feel anxious or restless, and your mind tells you, “I need to leave now!”
Example: If that barking dog scares you, your first thought might be to turn around and walk away quickly.
3. Freeze
What it is: You stop moving or talking because you’re unsure what to do next. It’s like hitting pause on yourself. This can happen because (a) your body is trying to avoid drawing attention, (b) it’s waiting to decide what to do next, (c) it is conserving all of your energy to keep your vital organs alive during an attack, or (d) it believes that “freezing” and taking the hit (whatever that might be) is your best chance at survival because fighting or running might make it worse.
How it feels: Your body feels stuck, and you might feel too scared or overwhelmed to act or even scream for help.
Example: When the dog barks, you just freeze in place, unable to move or decide what to do.
4. Fawn
What it is: This is when you try to please or be nice to the person or thing that’s scaring you, hoping that will make the danger go away or that they take it easy on you.
How it feels: You might feel like you need to agree with someone or make them happy, even if you don’t want to. This happens to a lot of sexual assault survivors who try to placate the perpetrator to try to get out alive.
Example: If the dog seems aggressive, you might try to talk calmly to it or even offer it a treat to keep it from barking at you.
These responses are natural, and everyone’s survival part of their brain reacts differently depending on the situation. It’s your brain and body trying to protect you! They are particularly common in individuals who have experienced trauma or significant stress.
How can therapy help?
Your system can get stuck in fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses. In therapy, our job is to let your system know that you are no longer in danger and it is okay to relax and move forward.