Helping Your Teen or Tween Adjust to a Move. Tips From A Teen Therapist in Long Beach.

Children of all ages thrive on familiarity and consistency, while moving is all about change and everything new. While children are resilient, it can be difficult, especially for older children who may have many longtime friends and may be involved in a variety of activities. Even a move to a nicer house or better school district can still be overwhelming to a middle school or high school student. The good news is, there are things you can do to help make the move smoother for your child.

Adjust your priorities and expectations

You want to get packed up, moved, unpacked, and settled as quickly as possible so you can reestablish your routines. That’s fine, but your children may need some extra attention during this time. Don’t be afraid to set the unpacking aside and spend some time doing something to connect with them. Plan your packing so the most critical items (a couple changes of clothes for each person, toiletries, kitchen basics, and comfort items for each child) are most easily accessible. This will make it easier to slow down and unpack a little at a time.

Consistency

In the middle of drastic change, consistency is key. Be sure to stick to your normal routines and have dinner together, even if dinner has to be pizza delivery in the middle of stacks of boxes for a night or two.

Involve them

Give your children as much responsibility in the process as possible. Let them unpack dishes, or organize movies. Giving each child a job will help them feel connected to the new house.

Allow them to adjust and express themselves

Every house has its own smells, sounds, and vibes, and it can take time to get used to, and every neighborhood is filled with strange people. Don’t be afraid to talk about the difference between the new home and the one you left. Allow your child to process their emotions about the move. Many teens and tweens can be prone to angry outbursts at the best of times. Do your best to be patient, but encourage healthy outlets.

Set an example

Moving is stressful and exhausting, even if it’s a long-awaited move to a better situation. Regardless of the reason for your move, let your kids know it’s stressful for you, too, but keep it positive. While you’re at it, be sure to take care of yourself. Make sure you’re eating well, getting plenty of rest, and spending time with friends and family. It’s very difficult to help your children if you allow yourself to burn out with all the work that needs to be done.

Make new friends, but keep the old

If possible, try to visit your new neighborhood before the move and revisit the old neighborhood after the move. If this isn’t possible, be sure to exchange email, snail mail addresses, and phone numbers with anyone you would like to maintain contact with, and encourage your friends to do the same.

Make it an adventure

When I was growing up, my friend’s mom made an effort to make any stressful event into a grand adventure, including multiple moves (one overseas). The sense of adventure eased a lot of the stress involved.