Tips On Coming Out To Your Family As Bisexual
Many people think coming out as bisexual is the same as coming out as gay or lesbian. Some even think it’s easier. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Unlike gay people, bisexual people face prejudice and misunderstanding within the community as well as outside. When gay and lesbian people come out, they at least gain the support of other gay/lesbian people. For bisexual people, they can often find themselves alone and on the receiving end of biphobia. In order to ease the blow and make coming out a more positive experience, there are some steps that can be taken.
Figure Out What You Want To Say
It’s quite possible that you might not have all the answers. You’re coming to terms with what it means to be bisexual, and you may not be ready to deal with the questions that your family will pose. That’s perfectly fine. Jot down some notes so you at least hit all the important points that you want to cover. Stay organized and you’ll feel more confident in the conversation.
Make A Plan
Don’t wing it. It’s important to have a plan. Know your family and know the times and/or days that they’ll be most receptive to the information. Bring it up when there’s time for a full discussion (if that’s what you want). Make sure that distractions are removed. Be methodical; being spontaneous doesn’t always work in these situations.
Get Informed
Bisexuality comes with a lot of misconceptions. Many people think it’s a choice; others think it’s just a stop on the way to homosexuality. When you come out as bisexual, you aren’t just telling your story. You’ll likely encounter several questions about your sexuality. You won’t know everything; no one does. But take the time educate yourself and surround yourself with supportive people. The more you know, the more comfortable you’ll feel in your own skin. Plus, you’ll feel more empowered to get through this conversation.
Enlist Some Support
It’s okay to feel like coming out as bisexual is something you can’t handle solo. If you think you’ll need reinforcement, ask a friend to join you or ask them to be available to hang out after you come out. Another plan could be for the conversation to take place at a therapist’s office or LGBTQI center. You need to feel safe and comfortable during this conversation. Sometimes, that means you need backup.
Prepare Yourself For Negative Reactions
Obviously, we all want our families to receive us with open arms no matter what. But the reality is that their reactions could be negative. For bisexual people, their families could be confusion along with common reactions of sadness or anger. If your family takes the news badly, have a support plan in place so you can process your feelings in a productive way. Leave if you don’t feel safe. Reach out to friends or other people in the community that can help you overcome the negativity. And most important, give your family some time to process things. Their initial reaction could just be a knee jerk one. With a little time, they may come around and what first seemed like a point of conflict can become a success story.
If you are looking for support in coming out, please reach out to us at Long Beach Therapy (562-310-9741), call your local LGBTQI center (google “LGBTQI Center” and your city), or call the Trevor Project (866-488-7386; open 24/7).