How Long Should You Wait for a Marriage Proposal?
You’ve been with your partner for a number of years and have dropped hints that you would love to see an engagement ring in your future. Time passes, and no proposal is forthcoming, which leads you to drop more hints about getting married, all of which continue to fall on deaf ears. Is could be a sign that your partner is not as committed to the relationship as you are or perhaps that they just don’t feel that marriage is that important. Now is the time when you need to ask yourself how important marriage is to you, and how long you should wait until that proposal comes.
If you have decided that you want to be married, it’s time to ask yourself why it is so important to you. Is it because you feel that it will somehow validate your relationship, or is it because you feel that the next logical step in your relationship is a sharing of vows and a ring on your finger? Perhaps it is because you are somewhat “old-fashioned” in that you believe a marriage should come before you move in together and start a family. The next question you need to answer is why your partner has not already gone down on one knee to propose.
The answer to that latter question may already be one that you know, assuming that you have had a conversation about marriage with your partner. If they have told you that they don’t really believe in the institution of marriage or that they are against it due to the fact that they come from a broken home, then you may feel like you will be forced to wait forever. If they are non-committal when the subject of marriage comes up, or they steer clear of the subject, then it may well be that they are not being totally upfront about how they feel about the relationship.
While you may not believe that your partner is totally averse to marriage and you simply think that they have cold feet, then look to their actions for a clearer answer. If they were agreeable about moving in together, sharing finances, and doing all the things that a married couple usually do, then they are most certainly committed to their relationship with you. It may well be that all the negative feelings that they have about marriage are true for them. 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce, perhaps they are afraid of what challenges marriage could bring.
The one thing that you probably should not do is throw down an ultimatum, especially if the relationship that you are in is all good except for the fact that it has yet to yield a wedding. People do not like to be backed into a corner, and you may end up regretting putting them in that place. One thing that you can bring up is the possibility of couples counseling. This is something that is not just for couples at the end of a relationship, as counseling can prove to be a positive step for couples on the brink of creating a lifelong partnership, either via marriage or not.