Can My Relationship Survive an Affair?
I am often asked about infidelity and the percentage of relationships that are able to survive an affair. It is not a question that is easily answered, as there are a number of different elements to consider within each relationship. In general, the person who cheated needs to do all they can to be up front and honest in therapy, while the person whose trust was broken will try to find forgiveness in their heart. If both sides can come with those feelings in place, the relationship has a chance. The goal of couple’s therapy in these cases is to get to the heart of why the affair happened in the first place. Was it due to a lack of communication within the relationship, or was it that one person felt that they had to step outside the coupling in order to get all the physical and emotional support they need? The issue here is to find out if the person who cheated actually communicated their frustrations to their partner before looking elsewhere. Once the reasons have been established, the next step is to work on building trust again. This can be especially tough if the person has cheated more than once during the relationship.
There are some couples who come in with a situation that seems simple, yet they end up divorcing. Others come in with complex issues that seem impossible, yet they are able to stay together and rebuild a solid, happy relationship. This just goes to prove that every situation is different, and that there are no two cases that are the same. What you should take from this is that there is no situation that cannot be resolved if given effort and assistance.
It is worth noting that it takes time to heal the damage done by a cheating partner, and just because things are fine right now, it doesn’t mean that they will be in the long term. That will not happen until trust has been fully established, and even then, work will need to be done to ensure that the relationship stays on course.