What can I do when my teenager is acting out during COVID?

As we all struggle during COVID to maintain our mental health, teens have it worse than others.  Parents are struggling with how to help their teenagers get through.

Why are teens hit so hard?

It’s important to understand your teenager’s current developmental stage.  Developmentally, teenagers are supposed to be gaining independence and figuring out how to live with less guidance from their parents in preparation of moving out when they become and adult.  Then COVID HITS!  Right in the middle of their developmental stage of figuring out their identity.  According to the famous developmental psychologist, Eric Erikson, teens have a very important developmental stage called “Identity vs. Role Confusion” (Ages: 12 – 18) where teens are supposed to be separating from family and getting more of their support from their peers.

How can parents help their teens during COVID?

First, understanding that their acting out is more likely due to depression or anxiety rather than defiance.  Imagine how frustrating it is to be a teenager and being stuck in the house with your parents and not having access to your friends.  Often times, teens get to vent about their parents to their friends and then they come back and can tolerate their families again.  Your teens don’t have their usual outlets for frustration and their usual coping skills and so they are getting their feelings out by acting out.

Second, consider talking to a therapist to find out how to help your teen with their specific situation. The therapist can help you figure out ways to communicate with your teens and try to help them get through COVID.  It might also be helpful for your teen to talk to a therapist, however it can often be helpful for you to talk to a therapist first to see if there are things you can do to help.

At Long Beach Therapy, we offer online therapy to teens and also to parents of teens to help families get through this pandemic in a healthy way.