How do I help my teenager understand why we are social distancing during COVID and their friends are going out?

Since COVID can’t be seen, many people are venturing out of the house in unsafe ways.  This creates issues when your family is adhering to stricter social distancing guidelines than your friends and/or family are.  When your teens are seeing their social media page filled with pictures of friends and family going out without them, it can be tough.

First:  Many people are feeling like they are having to make a decision between their family’s mental health and physical health.  Both are important, so it is a very difficult balance.  Therapy can help your family maintain their mental health  while dealing with the isolation and hardships of COVID.  It is important to monitor your family’s mental health to make sure they aren’t getting too deep into mental health issues.  Consider setting up an appointment with a therapist when you first notice signs of depression, anger or anxiety in yourself or your family so that you aren’t having to choose between your family’s mental well being and physical well being.

Second: LISTEN to your teen!  Ask them about their opinions and acknowledge how hard this is for them.  Don’t just give them lip service, it is important that you REALLY listen.  Get their input about if/when/how they think that they should see their friends again and share your ideas with them. Often times if you talk to your teens and they feel like you are taking their input into consideration, they are more likely to handle it better.

Third: Educate your teens about COVID and let them know who they should be listening to (scientists vs. news commentators).  They are on most likely on YouTube several hours a day listening to a lot of information. Some of that information is good and true, whereas other information they are listening to can be misleading and harmful.  Help guide them by giving them specific names of people/places they should be listening to.

FOURTH: Figure out things your teen CAN do safely and help them initiate those things.  They might not be able to go physically hang out with their friends, but they can utilize zoom, google hangouts and other online methods.  If there are family members who are at the same social distancing levels as you, think about letting your teen spend more time with those family members.  A week with grandparents or aunts/uncles can give your teen the break that they need.

FIFTH: Since you are tightening rules around their friends, consider loosening other rules. Let them stay up later, lighten the rules about screen time limits, and consider giving them more space where you aren’t hounding them about chores.

If all else fails, consider having them talk to a therapist.  At Long Beach Therapy, we offer online counseling so that you and your family don’t have to risk your physical safety to get help with your mental health.