How to get through to my partner? Written by a couples therapist in Long Beach.
Many of the people that I talk to in therapy are there because they cannot communicate with their partner. In order for your words to be heard, the first thing you need to learn to do is listen. Imagine how great it would be for your partner to be heard without judgement, eye rolling, or having you turn your back on them. Couples who choose in home therapy often do so because they feel as though their voice is not being heard. The problem here is that too much time is spent formulating a response as opposed to listening to what is being said. When both people in the relationship act that way, both end up feeling as though communication has broken down entirely. Change that by taking the time to listen. It may take a moment for your partner to understand what is happening, since being heard is not something they are used to.
When this process is done correctly, the dynamic within the relationship improves, leading to better communication, as well as increased happiness and intimacy. If nothing changes, it may be time to seek professional help. If your partner is reluctant to seek out couple’s therapy, you can still get help learning these new skills on your own individual therapy. When your partner sees the improvements being made, they may become willing to join you.
What if my partner is depressed?
If you have a partner or spouse who suffers from depression, there are some things that you can do. The first step is to learn as much as you can about the causes of depression. The problem may not have rubbed off on you directly, but it can be tough to carry the weight of the relationship and your partner’s depression on your shoulders. A therapist can supply you with tips and ideas that will allow you to help your partner through their depression, whilst also showing you how to make you own life happier. You need to learn that you can only change yourself, and not your partner. You cannot make someone else enter into therapy if they do not want to, but you can arm yourself with the tools required to help them feel more comfortable and stable. Your partner may or may not decide to come with you to therapy, which means you may end up going alone. That, too, is fine, as you will have a support system in place to help you deal with the things that are happening in your relationship.
If you live in California and are looking for a couple’s therapist, please give us a call at Long Beach Therapy: 562-310-9741.