How To Get My Partner To Listen To Me
Most people I talk to believe that getting someone to listen can only happen when the other person learns to be patient, less self-centered, and understanding of what is being said. I do not believe this, and actually think the opposite is true. The most effective way to form a solid bond with every person you regularly interact with is to simply stop talking and to listen.
Hearing vs. listening.
If you can learn how to truly listen to what people are saying, you will gain a huge competitive advantage in both your business and personal life. Think for a moment about the conversations you have with the people in your life.
Who does the majority of the talking? Regardless of the answer, you need to read on.
Studies reveal that just 2% of professionals have a formal education on listening properly. The average person listens at a rate of 125-250 words per minute, so imagine how good you would be if you could take that number to 1,000-3,000. The whole point of a conversation with someone else is to connect and get to know one another better. The reality is that most of us listen to respond as opposed to listening to learn.
Information is power.
The power of information can give you a serious competitive advantage, so why not get as much of it as you can? You can learn something new every single day, and all you have to do is take the time to listen to what other people are saying.
How much can you really expect to learn when all you do is talk? In order to get the most from listening vs hearing, I recommend going with the 70/30 rule. Anytime you are on a date or with your partner, and you feel like the communication is breaking down, try to talk 30% of the time and listen 70% of the time. This will help your relationship flourish, and is a method than can be successful in any conversational setting.
Listen to be heard.
Being heard is a basic human need that we all desire. Simply put, if you listen, the chances of you being listened to and heard increases.
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who “gets” everything you say, and makes you feel as though you are their sole focus? They may only nod their head to show that they heard, followed by the sharing of a personal story that closely mirrored yours.
They may have said very little during the conversation, but by the time you moved on to the next person, you felt as though you knew more about that person simply because it seemed they really cared about you. The questions they asked really got to the heart of the conversation, and their similar personal stories made it feel as though you had a real connection.
None of this is to suggest that listening is an easy art to master, but it’s one that everyone should take the time to learn. Plenty of people may be impressed by the way you speak, but the real impact comes when they see how well you listen.
No matter where you are in your life, there will always be people who have more life experiences than you. Opening up your ears to hear their stories will open up a whole new world that you would otherwise have missed.