No two people are exactly alike, which is why we are never going to see eye to eye on every detail in life. There are some subjects, though, that are a little touchier than others, with politics and religion sitting at the top of that list. It is often said that both of those subjects should always be left out of polite conversation, but that is often difficult to do in a family setting. After all, your parents may well have raised you according to their strict religious guidelines, assuming that you will continue to follow that same path into adulthood. How do you then approach the subject with your parents when you realize that you want your path to be different?
As an adult, you could well believe that the subject of religion need never be discussed again, and that is completely okay. There are pros and cons to having this discussion and it is important to consider if you want to proceed with the conversation. Talking to them could bring you closer together because they respect your willingness to be honest. Talking to them could push you farther apart because they don’t agree with your religious path (which could be a path of no religion).
If you are wanting to have the conversation with your parents about differing religious beliefs, you may end up being able to avoid painting yourself into a corner, especially when you have children of your own. The little ones are going to be spending time with grandparents who may spend some of that quality time talking about a religious path that is different from the one that you are on with your new family. Even if kids aren’t involved, it can still be a good idea to make your parents aware that your religious beliefs are different than theirs, as uncomfortable as that conversation may prove to be.
The first thing I would recommend before engaging in a conversation about religion with your parents is to make sure that you are entirely sure about the religious path (or not religious path) that you want to follow. Make sure that this is not just a passing phase, which you can do by learning as much as possible about your religion of choice. As you perform this research, take notes on questions you think your parents might ask so that you can be prepared.
When you are sure of your decision and are certain of your path, decide if you want to be spontaneous or if you want to arrange a meeting time with your parents, letting them know that you have something to discuss with them. If you do plan to make it a more formal conversation, allow them to choose the place and time of meeting, as they will then be in a place where they feel the most comfortable. Start out the meeting by getting straight to the point and letting them know that you have been looking at other religions, doing so in a way that does not put down their belief system.
Be prepared for a lot of questions, and potentially some anger and hurt feelings, from your parents. The one thing that you cannot do is get pulled into an argument that leads to raised voices and hurt feelings, as this helps no-one. Answer all the questions to the best of your ability and offer up some literature about your religion choice that may help give your parents a better understanding of why you have chosen this path. Always show respect and love to your parents, and while it may take them some time to respect your choices, they are more likely to do so if you show grace throughout the entire process.