How to talk to parents about a decision you made that you know they disapprove of?
Every parent is well aware that the time will come when their kids will reach adulthood and move out of the family home. The hope of a large majority of those parents is that they will have instilled the values that their kid(s) needs to become a productive member of society. While most parents are able to cut the strings and allow their grown children to start living their life outside of the family home, those same parents still make judgements on every decision that their grown children make. The reality here is that some of those decisions are going to be met with disapproval.
The natural reaction for many when disapproval rears its ugly head is to get into a defensive stance that often ends with an argument and hurt feelings on both sides. If you really want to prove to your parents that you are indeed an adult ready to make decisions in life, you need to be able to engage in a level-headed discussion where both sides can express their feelings without fear of receiving further negative judgement from the other. This is always a good jumping off point in any type of discussion. It doesn’t mean that you have to follow what they are wanting for you, however it does mean that you can listen.
When you are able to have a rational conversation with your parents, you will find out that, more often than not, their disapproval with your decision is more about protecting you than simply rushing to judgement without really knowing anything about the process that went into your making said decision. For example, they may look at your new partner in a negative light because they believe that the person you with is leading you in a direction that will end with you being left hurt and heartbroken. Again, their feelings are not necessarily about your partner but more about you and your emotional well-being.
Rather than brushing everything off and ignoring the disapproval of your parents, it can be helpful to sit down and find a way to put them at ease. Ask them what it is specifically that is causing them to doubt your decision, as you may very well find that their questions and doubts are things that can very easily be answered. Let them know about the thought that went into making the decision that you did, proving to them that it was not a decision made quickly or without any type of forethought.
Do not expect to go into this conversation and have everything resolved right away, as you may find that your parents may still adopt a wait and see attitude. They may also never become totally comfortable with the decision that you made, but you can almost certainly bet that they will feel somewhat better about it when they know that you respect them enough to tell your side of the story and how you came by the decision that you finally made. Honesty, respect, and trust are the best ways to remain close even when you do not agree on a specific subject.