Holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration and relaxation, right? This is not a true statement for a large portion of the population. There is housework to be done, dealing with in-laws (or your own family) who you would prefer not to see, and buying gifts for people who don’t appreciate them or are hard to buy for because they have everything they would ever want.
They key to getting through the holidays is to take care of yourself! If you are on an airplane, they tell you to put your oxygen mask on before you can help other people. Life, in general, is similar. This doesn’t mean that you have a free pass to be selfish, but it does mean that you need to carve out time to get your needs met so that you can show up for your family in a healthy way.
If you experience depression, anxiety and/or have had traumatic experiences that are effecting your mood during the holidays, then stop reading and call to make an appointment with a therapist who can help.
Time flies
Some people enjoy busy schedule that holidays often bring, while other people can’t wait for it to end. If you dread the holidays, try to imagine that the next month may be tough, but remember that it’s time limited and it will end, just like past holiday seasons. Sometimes, being able to take a deep breath and remembering that it is time limited can help.
Take care of YOU!
Many people get caught up in the business of the holiday season. Set a daily alert on your phone as a reminder to take a little “me time”. This could be walking out of the house for a moment and taking a deep breath, making yourself a cup of tea/coffee, or leaving a party early to get extra sleep. There is nothing wrong with staying home from time to time and turning on Netflix. It would be completely honest to tell people you have plans. Just because those plans are with yourself, doesn’t mean they aren’t valid plans.
Be grateful
When start getting that overwhelming feeling, take time to reflect on what you can be thankful for. If work is hectic, take time to be grateful that you have a job. If you’re stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, take time to be thankful you have a car. Unfortunately, the holidays are going to happen whether you like it or not. The only control you have is how you will look at it.
Ask for help
Are you the house everyone goes to for the holidays? Cooking and cleaning for everyone is often stressful, but you can ask for help. Ask your family member to help with some of the prep work, or ask them to bring an appetizer or side dish. Every time you ask for help (and someone helps), it takes something little off of your plate. All of those little things can really add up and help lower your stress so that you can enjoy the process a little more. If you have unreliable family, ask them to bring something that you COULD do without (even if you would prefer not to do without it).
Set boundaries
You are allowed to turn down invitations to go to (or host) events and you don’t have to show up to every party. Choose the ones that you have the most fun at or the ones that mean the most to you and say no to the rest. If you are hosting the family dinner, do you have to cook a huge feast, or would it be possible to have a snack buffet or potluck and let everyone eat through the day? Many people put on big dinners because that is what they saw their family do growing up. A lot has changed over the years and the holidays have become much more casual over the years and a lot of people go out for the holidays or order food from a restaurant and have everyone pitch in on the cost. If you decide on the fashion approach to the holidays, remember SELF-CARE!!!
Remember that you aren’t alone in thinking that the holidays are stressful, but you’ve gotten through the season before, and you will this year also. With some mindfulness and a few new strategies, you may even find yourself enjoying them in 2021.