Benefits of having ADHD. A new take on ADHD.
People now a days are always multitasking at a fast pace. How common is it for people to be “in the moment” anymore? What if ADHD kids are just always in the moment?
Let me explain:
The first person I saw with ADHD was when I was an intern. The student had been referred to me because he was getting in a lot of trouble at school. When I met with him, I found out that the last time he had gotten in trouble, it was because he hit another student THREE times. I talked to my client and he said that it was an accident that he hit the other student. I explained that hitting someone once might be an accident, and that I would even give him the term “accident” when hitting someone twice in a row, but a THIRD time? Hitting someone three times in a row can’t possibly be an accident. As I met with this client, he was compliant and seemed pretty nice. I was confused at the reports of him being “non-compliant” so I went to observe him at school. I saw him lining up at the playground with his class getting ready to follow the teacher into the classroom. All the other students were listening to the teacher with their feet lined up on the line, standing still behind the person in front of them. My client was swinging his hands back and forth so that his hands would hit his stomach/chest and then his back. The did this for several minutes as the teacher gave instructions to the kids so they would know what to do when they got into the classroom. I actually saw with my own eyes him ACCIDENTALLY (really, it WAS an accident) hit the kid in front of him several times. He was so “in the moment” that he didn’t even notice that he was hitting someone until the other kid told the teacher. He really didn’t mean to hit that other kid, but he got in trouble as though he did it on purpose.
Some people would see my client as not paying attention. In my opinion, he is paying TOO MUCH attention. He is in the moment, enjoying the feeling of the breeze on his face and the feeling of his hands swinging freely in the wind. While everyone else is following the rules and focusing on something else that the teacher told them that they should focus on, he is focused on his body, the breeze, and is being very mindful of the moment. When was the last time someone without ADHD allowed themselves to be in the moment like that?
This behavior doesn’t fit into the mold of what is expected in the world and he definitely needed the skills to be able to pay attention when attention was needed in school. Most of us are so disconnected from “the moment” and disconnected from our body and our gut feeling. Instead we are focused on being a “clean plate ranger” at meals when we are actually full (look at the obesity rate in the U.S.). We stop paying attention to our gut feeling when we sense danger. Instead, we tend to follow the rules so that we are accepted by others. People without ADHD are actually starting to be more aware of this and the “mindfulness movement” (okay, it’s not actually a movement, it just seems like it is) has encouraged people to be more mindful and in the moment (go ahead, swing your arms around every once in a while and feel the wind on your face).
My point in this whole story is to get you to think a little differently about your ADHD (or your child’s ADHD). Instead of thinking about ADHD as completely bad and a deficit, perhaps start looking at the strengths. Instead of thinking that someone with ADHD has to completely change and become like the rest of us, thinking of it as learning to control a superpower. Imagine how many people could benefit from being in the moment more (hence, people doing mindfulness meditations). Also imagine how hard it would be if superman couldn’t control his superpowers and couldn’t stop flying when he needed to land. Or if Spiderman got all caught in his webs (there is actually a Superman movie where this happens). Most people wouldn’t say that superman is a failure or should be in trouble, they would want superman to hone in on his skills.
When working with someone with ADHD, one of the things that often has to be addressed is their self-esteem issues that come from every rule follower out there telling them how bad they are. When someone with ADHD can see the benefits in their superpower and see therapy as a way to hone those skills, therapy is a much different process. Therapy seems more like training practice at that point. Learning how to focus when focus is needed. Medication feels more like something they take while they have to focus and they don’t take in the evenings or weekends when they can be more present in their bodies and “notice” everything and enjoy the moment.
Whether or not you ever seek therapy for ADHD, I hope this perspective changes how you view your ADHD.