I have been a therapist in Long Beach for over 25 years. One of the things that I observe in people who are working on self-esteem who transition from low self-esteem to a healthier self-esteem is that they accept that they are important in this world. That is often the moment where I see that transition.
Deep inside you is an amazing unwavering light. It’s a place where nobodies opinions matter, a place of self-acceptance and comfort. A place where you don’t need external validation. Where you are free from social media and the energy vampires of today. This place is called Love; this place is called YOU.
Have you figured out the things that make you unique? Most people who have self-esteem issues hear the word “unique” and think “different” or “bad”. This is often times because as children, the things that make us unique are also the things that bullies will target us for. So instead of sharing with the world something special, we learn to hide it.
Tips to a healthy self-esteem:
- Identify something you bring to the world (or even just your friend group or family) every day. If you can’t think of anything, then smile at someone as you walk down the street or make a point text a friend with a nice message of “Have a great day” or “thinking about you”. Perhaps all you have in you today is knowing that you may have put a smile on someone’s face.
- Although it is important to show up for loved ones and do things for people because you care about them, it is important to know that you have permission to say “no” to things that don’t feel like they are in your best interest. If you are always doing things for people who aren’t there for you, then it might be time to rethink that friendship because these are people who are more likely to bring you down and reinforce your low self-esteem.
- Listen to your feelings and emotions. Hang out with people who make you feel good about you. If you have friends who make fun of you or you feel are mean to you, work on developing other friendships.
- Volunteer somewhere that will make you feel good. Not only does the experience of helping society feel good, you will most likely meet other well meaning people in the process.
- Always remember you are the priority in your life. Monitor your health, stay away from people, places and things that make you feel less than.
- If these tips don’t help, consider talking to a therapist who can work with you on improving your self-esteem. Many times, having a professional therapist who is trained to help people with negative self-thoughts can fast forward your journey to a better self-esteem.